The voices are telling me to do things…
From time to time, I’ve mentioned the voices that spawn from the murky creative mist to bestow their wisdom upon me. Whether I need this paranormal assistance isn’t really the question. I’ll take any inspiration a Muse wants to toss my way.
The voices come through when I’m over-caffeinated, sleep-deprived, and reek of desperation. Before you get all judgey, I prefer to think of this semi-toxic combination of psychopharmacological influences as “opening myself up” to the voices, much as a paranormal investigator listens for voices from beyond. Except, of course, mine are real.
One question to the Great Issuer of Muses; why must my Muse look and sound like, Hanibal Lechter, or Samuel L. Jackson as opposed, say, Charlize Theron? Is that too much to ask?
As opposed to this?
Now granted, Mr. Jackson carries a bit more heft, when it comes to delivering a message. When his voice tells me, “Correct your adverb laden mush,” or he delivers an ungentle throat punch when a plot starts to turn, he will get my attention in way that Miss Theron cannot.
These voices have descended from the writing heavens 5 times and here they are in one clickable collection for you:
Me: Thanks for stopping by.
Samuel: You missed one.
Me: No, I didn’t.
Samuel: Oh, really? Well allow me to retort. How about when you couldn’t decide on what story to write? You sat on your ass and looked at Pinterest boards. Pinterest, for God’s sake.
Me: It is a perfectly valid creative tool. I keep story boards there on projects I’m working on.
Samuel: Story boards with all the pictures of pretty people and chocolate chip cookie recipes? Sounds really productive. Say, why don’t you try something challenging, like, sit down and Write The Damn Story!
Me: Damn, Sam, a little testy aren’t we?
Samuel: Maybe a little. I’ve been a little edgy ever since that television reporter thought I was Lawrence Fishburne in one of those Super Bowl commercials. You know how it is, you must get mistaken for a writer all the time.
Me: I am.
Samuel: Writer’s write. They don’t play Candy Crush and Pinterest.
Me: They aren’t the same. Wait, I don’t play Candy Crush.
Samuel: Write. I don’t care if you think it’s gonna be the Life of Pi without the water. Just write the damn thing. You can’t rewrite what you haven’t written.
Me: I’ll give you that one.
Samuel: Damn right you will.
Me: Now, go away and let me write.
Samuel: I’ll be watching.
Me: Oh, scary.
Me: Nothing! Writing now.
Go write everyone!