What Is The Honey Badger Telling Me?

Honey Badger Don’t Plot

So, I’m sitting at my keyboard drafting the last few chapters of a novel and I know where the story goes. I know how the plot lines come together, how the characters change and I’m just about ready to wrap this one up. I’m at this point because I’ve outlined, planned and plotted the story from the beginning. But, now there is a huge fricken hole in my bucket and all the ideas are spilling out, flopping on the floor like dying fish. Fish that I can’t use, because they don’t swim in my little story idea.

story ideas dying with no place to go via foxadhd@tumbler.com

story ideas dying with no place to go
via foxadhd@tumbler.com

That, is the issue. Usually, I draft a story using less structured guideposts, free-writing, or “pantsing” it as I go along. I wanted to try the structured outline and my creative muse was not amused.

As the story wound down, I was like a cat distracted by every shiny object in the room. The Corgi hair balls that collect at the baseboards needed vacuuming, let’s re-caulk the shower door, or go mow the lawn (for the East Coasters who may be reading this – a lawn is a lush green vegetation which grows in the presence of sunlight, above freezing temperatures). In the midst of the frantic non-directed activity, I psychically channelled a Honey Badger on bath salts, pouncing on one story distraction after another.

Honey Badger on Bath Salts in not a pretty thing

Honey Badger on Bath Salts in not a pretty thing

All the distractions had to mean something. I needed a way to translate them before my muse went on a three day bender. I tried reading coffee grounds, tossing dried chicken bones on the table, only to realize I needed caffeine and lunch. This was going nowhere.

Going nowhere…

The distractions told me my story was going nowhere. My outline said the story wrapped up nicely with a little pretty bow on top, but deep down in my twisted dark bowels, I knew it was too pretty. Pretty and predictable.

My rigid outline didn’t let the story evolve, or reveal enough about the characters to make readers want to give a crap. My test audience told me as much:

courtesy of dailymail.uk

courtesy of dailymail.uk

I scrapped the outline and re-drafted the last third of the story. My main character changed professions and mindset, from a straight by-the-book cop, to a blue collar bigot. A main theme of the novel involves the people caught in the middle of the fight over illegal immigration. Toss a character with learned racial bigotry into a scenario where he must rely on the very people he despised to survive and his belief system starts to unravel.

The rewrite on this one will be a challenge, but worth it. The morale of the writing process story on this one is: Listen to your muse (gut, instinct, coffee grounds, chicken bones or drug addicted Honey Badger) and trust yourself. If an outline is handcuffing you (not in a 50 Shades of Grey way) then let loose and just write the story you want to write. Embrace your inner Honey Badger.

There will be plenty of time for all the revisions and rewriting. So remember:


  • The first draft of anything is shit.  Ernest Hemingway


  • Writing is when we make the words.
  • Editing is when we make the words not shitty.  Chuck Wendig

There’s a Honey Badger waiting for you! Go…



  1. Good post, shared on Twitter.

    1. Thanks for the share, Alice I’m glad you enjoyed the Honey Badger!

  2. Lol – too funny!. It might take a while and a few tries but I’m sure you’ll outwit the drug addicted Honey Badger and get all your characters in line!

    1. I’m hopeful, Jan! I’ve placed a trail of breadcrumbs that a half blind Honey Badger could follow. Thanks!

  3. stephanie710 · · Reply

    Great post and great advice. The first ten rounds of mine was shit, and I’m trying to sift through the wreckage as we um, type. I am so stuck on the section I’m in—thanks for letting me know I am not alone. Coffee, dog hair, Honey Badge don’t care…Love this. 🙂

    1. Stephanie, we are not alone! I think there’s someone hiding in the garage…oh, no, that was just the cat…never mind. Keep plugging away, kiddo.

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