A 12 Step Approach to Procrastination

Procrastination is an addiction.

“Oh, I can do that tomorrow,” or “I’ve got plenty of time left to get that project done,” are the Procrastination Addict’s go-to excuses for putting off the inevitable. Procrastination is an insidious disease, an infliction that begins in our early years, when we were tardy for that god forsaken math class. Late homework, skipped classes, breaking curfew, late to work, forgetting birthdays and anniversaries, the disease progresses until every social bridge you ever built is left in smoldering ruins.

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“But I have a reason for (insert missed event here).” No. No, you don’t. You have an excuse. There’s a difference. A reason is why you were late. The excuse is that you chose to be late by procrastinating until the last second and then some. So, buck up fellow procrastinators and face it. We have issues — issues, if left unchecked, will lead to career (or relationship) ending paralysis.

There is a mechanism to address this addiction to “not doing” and it involves a group setting. So, circle up the chairs and park it. Don’t mind the empty seats, some of us will be late.

A 12 Step Approach to Live With Procrastination:

1. We admit that we are powerless over our procrastination addiction and that our decisions have become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that making one simple damn decision could restore us to sanity.

3. Make a bargain with the Dark Underlord of decisions, based upon assurances that not making a decision is a decision.

4. Make a list of friends and relatives whom you have blown off by your procrastination. But do it after you’re done catching up with Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and MySpace.

5. Admit to God and another human being that you were late because you stopped off at a garage sale because they had really cool stuff.

6. We are entirely ready to make a decision and start with answering your significant other’s question, “What do you want for dinner?”

7. Humbly ask that someone make the hard decisions for me.

Make a damn decision! image by ann-alise henrichs via flickr creative commons

Make a damn decision!
image by ann-alise henrichs via flickr creative commons

8. Make a list of all the persons you have harmed, but put off doing anything about that until some other time.

9. Make direct amends to such people, but on the other hand, you might injure them, so put that one on the back burner, for now.

10. Continue to take a personal inventory of procrastinate-able issues until they become overwhelming and put you into brain lock. Besides, management will change their mind about the approach on that project before you get to it anyway, they always do.

11. Sought through prayer and mediation and bargaining for guidance on what has to be done today and what can I put off for another time.

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12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we share this message with all procrastinators and practice these principles in our daily affairs, if we have time.

Living with The Big “P” means sometimes, you just gotta let shit go. Things that were important yesterday – not so much today, as it turns out. So, as long as you’re not hurting someone else, procrastinate on you crazy diamond.

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4 comments

  1. It is a tricky addiction – but often a victimless crime!

    1. I’m not sure if it’s victimless, it’s seems more like self harm…
      Thanks Jan.

  2. Oh yeah. I know this bugger well. Especially love #4. I started setting a timer for my Twitter engagement, and when it goes off I reach over and turn it off without even being aware. So much for that plan.

    I don’t believe in being on time. I believe in being “in” time. Har.

    1. A timer is a good idea, but I think it would cause me more anxiety than anything else. Just one more tweet…just one more…

      Being in time is on time.

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