I’ve been in a couple airports over the last few weeks, LAX, Phoenix, Las Vegas and Sacramento. Airports, as it turns out, are great places for people watching to pass the time. And there always seems to be time…
I do the whole people watching thing and scoop up character details for new stories. You know, finding that loud guy in a Mexican restaurant hunched over his plate of tacos, complaining about how many Mexicans are taking all the good jobs. Yeah, I hope that taco tastes really special. Then, there’s the xanax and vodka glazed businessman putting the last changes on his powerpoint presentation before the big meeting.
I like to arrive early, before boarding time, and take in the show. The gate runners sprinting to the next terminal, the spontaneous roller bag ballet that happens in the middle of the concourse, and then there is my favorite, the phone cord holding zombie who wanders from gate to gate in search of an open electric plug.
If you’re delayed, or have some time to kill during a layover, I have a few suggestions to make the time productive. A “Mullet Hunt” is always a winner. Spotting that elusive business in the front party in the back style is harder than it once was due to the proliferation of the Devil’s Spawn that is the “Man Bun.”
Other fun games include:
- Pin a PBR on the Hipster
- How many times will she say “I’m vegan” in a single conversation?
- My carryon luggage is bigger than yours
- How far can I let my kids run before I get off my ass and go find them?
- How many pre-board wheelchairs and unaccompanied minors will board before me?
- Why does the TSA screening feel like a bad game of Naked Twister?
- How many times will the gate agent get blamed for the fog delay?
- Bumper car luggage (extra points for shin bruising)
Then, there’s always the old standby of Airport Emotional Baggage Bingo. If you can find a manic person, an angry guy, a snooty gal, a guy with a hangover and someone crying — that’s a bingo. (They all have to be at your boarding gate) And you have to yell bingo. Yeah, you might get a couple of odd glances, but you’re a winner. Unfortunately, that’s where your winning streak ends, because all that emotional baggage is getting on the SAME PLANE AS YOU.
Thank you for flying with us…
So, fess up. What have you done to pass the time at an airport lately?