Shut Up And Drive

Pardon me whilst I squeeze into my ranty pants. I don’t remember them being this tight. Ahem…

This morning I had the occasion to venture out in public and join in the mass migration on the public thoroughfare. Interstate 5 is a sprawling mass of asphalt and cement, up to eight lanes wide at some points to manage all the commuter traffic through and around Sacramento. Generally, it all works when everyone has ingested the required maintenance dose of caffeine, or prescription medication and there isn’t a single drop of rain on the blacktop. When the humidity increases, everyone loses their minds and drives like they are in a midwest floodplain.


Here in the state of Confusion California, they attempt to legislate every aspect of your life. While I don’t like the nanny state approach, one thing I do agree with is the ban on texting while driving. This morning’s drive to and back from the city was like a game of freeway whack-a-mole, with cars swerving out of their lanes, sudden braking and popping out into traffic lanes. You feel like a winner every time you survive a trip. During today’s adventure cruise, I noticed that every single time I needed to take evasive action to avoid a collision, the driver was punching away at a cell phone. Texting, glancing up every so often to jerk the steering wheel back into their lane.

image by joe strupack via flikr creative commons

image by joe strupack via flikr creative commons

When you’re texting and driving, you should know that the Chevy Spark you’re driving will end up being the urn to hold your cremains when you rear end that semi-truck. So, pick the color of your car carefully, you’re gonna have it with you (in you —  through you) for all eternity.

I can’t explain why today’s detracted drivers were more noticeable. The only thing new this week was the release of Pokemon Go. You don’t think they were trying to play the game and drive at the same time, do you?

image by iphonedigital via flickr creative commons

image by iphonedigital via flickr creative commons

Good God people. Shut up and drive

Takes off ranty pants. There that feels better.

Be careful out there, the roads are full of them.


  1. I don’t understand people who think they can text and drive either – what a-holes.

  2. Reblogged this on James L'Etoile and commented:

    The summer driver syndrome is out in full blossom. Texting and driving doesn’t make you a multitasking marvel–it makes you despicable.

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