The Season of Trolling

You know that insurance commercial with the fisherman who pops up with a dollar bill on the end of his line, taunting his clients to grab it? Then he jerks the cash bait away at the last moment, saying “You’ve got to be quicker than that.”

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Most times, I am that person, the one who is a little slow on the grab and I miss the “deal of the day,” or the “one time only sale.” I curse under my breath at the trolling for dollars and that god-forsaken fisherman.

This year, apparently, I have become that fisherman. With a book release scheduled in less than a week, I have been trolling the waters like a deep water commercial tuna boat. The only thing missing are gill nets to capture unsuspecting readers as they pass. I’m not opposed to that approach; I haven’t found the people-sized gill nets in my local big box store.

Reader Capture Device image from SCDNR.SC.gov

Reader Capture Device                                        image from SCDNR.SC.gov

I loathe the constant barrage of Buy Me spam on social media. I try to limit the number of self-serving commercial messages, but I need to promote and get AT WHAT COST out there and hope it doesn’t get lost in a tangled mass of lines from other fishermen out there. My line is one of thousands trolling the waters for attention.

Competing Bait In The Water image by Paul B via flickr creative commons

Competing Bait In The Water                            image by Paul B via flickr creative commons

As an author a fisherman, part of my job is to promote a book show off a hand crafted lure that I’m proud of. I have to make my lure shiny and quote from reviews and blurbs the book lure has received. I cast my lure out there and am rewarded with a pleasing thunk as the bait hits the water. And wait…and wait some more…

While I’m on the riverbank, I scroll through social media and skip the Buy Me spam. It hits me. Is that all that I am now? Simply another thread in the constant stream of digital pollution? Then I get a tug on the line. I reel in as fast as I can and it’s a review. A big fat 5 star review. I take pictures of the catch (to be posted on social media, of course) and revel in the catch-of-the-day.

Time to shine up the lure again and troll for readers and reviews. To support your local author fisherman, please read and review. Here are two quick ways. Go to Goodreads and click the button that says you want to read the book, and then when you’ve finished the book go to Amazon (or Barnes & Noble, or BooksAMillion or Indiebound) and leave a short review. It does make a difference.

Most writers fishermen try to balance the commercial with regular interaction, but it’s a little difficult at book release time, since every waking moment seems to be focused on that countdown. So, If I’ve offended you with more trolling lately, I’m sorry…

But…

Please, may I have a review?

Please, may I have a review?

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5 comments

  1. Every writers been there, done that!

    1. Oh, I know, I just hate this part where I feel like I’m begging for scraps under a freeway crossing.

  2. One very cold Christmas vacation, we decided to cast a lure into the pond near the cabin where we were staying. This Florida fisherman was shocked to hear the lure CLUNK and skitter across the surface. The frozen surface. Hope your lure does not meet the same fate.

    1. HAHA…Let’s hope I don’t get frozen out.

  3. Yeah. This: “It hits me. Is that all that I am now? Simply another thread in the constant stream of digital pollution?” *sigh* It sucks. But, hey, now I know to look for your book so there’s that. Also, nice Oliver meme. 😉

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