Category humor

Get Out Of My E-Mail!

The rise of the machines is happening. It began with a very not-so-subtle e-mail from my medical insurance provider. This was not the usual e-mail fluff that clogs up your spam filter recommending this supplement, or an indictment that I could stand to lose a few pounds. The timing of these e-mails are suspicious. They seem to hit the […]

Want to Time Travel? Go To Prison

I’ve been playing with an idea for a new book and it involves – wait for it – time travel. Not like the H. G. Wells, Time Machine kind of time travel. There is not fanciful device to dial up the year and zap you to the exact time and place of your choosing. The story I’m noodling […]

Seasonal Decisions That Make You Go WTF

It seems winter forces a period of reflection. We tend to make “seasonal” decisions with the mental acuity of the Village Idiot.  I believe this seasonal dumbing down has something to do with lower temperatures which slow the speed of neural connections in the brain. It’s science. One must wonder, why important matters are scheduled during this […]

Karma Police

I’m a firm believer in Karma. No, not the old Volkswagen. I’m talking about that great universal force behind “What goes around – comes around.” The, “You’ll get what you deserve,” cosmic power kind of thing. It took me years to accept there was real Karma out there in the universe. You see too many examples […]

A Big Machine

Green light! My green light isn’t the traffic light kind. Nothing as benign as a simple traffic signal. Why is there a green light on the top of my computer screen? I know it’s not a Christmas themed decoration, as I lean more towards Grinch than festive. The bright green dot glows for a moment, then […]

How Did We Survive? The Grumpy Guy’s Guide

The other day I asked a youngish kid, maybe 10 years old, to kindly not play behind my car, in my driveway, because it wasn’t very safe. Her response to me was, “I don’t have to. I can play wherever I want.” Which led me to: Only the strong survive… How did we manage to […]

A Message from the Great Beyond

I’m not a guy who sees supernatural forces lurking in all the dark shadows. There’s enough real bad stuff out there without leaving it to my twisted little mind. But… Do ghosts exist? I mean is there something out there trying to establish contact with us on this side of the great dirt nap? All […]

The Spam Game – What does your spam say about you?

I’m overwhelmed with spam. These unsolicited messages are a waste product of all of our new fangled technology and electronic lifestyle. Spam defies a concise definition. It’s like porn — you know it when you see it. If I were a sensitive little buttercup and overthought the subject line of each spam e-mail in my in-box, I […]

An Unexpected Windfall

Since I’m the “Not Independently Wealthy” kind of guy, I’m always looking for get rich quick schemes sound investment strategies. Halloween, as it turns out is a vastly ignored windfall of untapped economic opportunity. You won’t find a free seminar, or an an e-mail from Ethiopian Prince on this little venture. It doesn’t require a chain […]

After The Dust Settles – Burning Man

Several thousand years from now, alien archeologists will examine the burnt strata of our planet and conclude we were a shallow species, bent on self destruction. They will judge us on our mummified remains, adorned with metal piercings, body art and bong resin. After careful analysis, the archeologists will sanitize and quarantine the planet to […]